Throughout my HR career I always had a gut feeling that something was missing. When I first experienced it, I thought that the feeling would go away when I climbed the career ladder. When I finally met my goals, I was surprised that the feeling actually intensified. At that point, I knew my career path was the wrong path. From that day forward, I kept praying that God would reveal my path.
In retrospect, I realize that you can’t just make a wish, say a prayer, or click your ruby red slippers together to make your wish come true. That’s just not how life works! It wasn’t until I worked on myself and gave myself time away from the stress and overwhelm that I recognized that I lost myself over the years. If you would have asked me what I like to do for fun or what my hobbies were you wouldn’t have received an answer. I simply forgot what made me happy and forgot about my hobbies that I used to make time for.
The first step in my healing process was to discover what made me happy, not what others expected of me, not what I thought “should” make me happy, but what ACTUALLY made me happy. The old me would have selected others expectations and what I thought should make me happy. Not the new me, that is why this exercise took me days to complete. I had to get all of the clutter out of the way before I rediscovered the girl I used to be. I say girl, because all throughout my adulthood I lost my happiness.
Once I identified what made me happy. I dove even further and defined the details of how each value made me happy. For example, in order for me to be happy I need to feel a sense of achievement. The how is much more complex than just achievement itself. I need to feel that I’m a good wife, mother, friend, helping others through my business, and my overall health.
I encourage you to ask yourself a simple question, what makes you happy. If you’re unable to answer this question, then this is a sign that you’re too busy putting everyone else or your job first. You only have one life to live and if you’re not happy or fulfilled then you’re not showing up 100% for yourself, your family, your friends, or your career.
My First Live Training
All throughout my childhood and even into my high school years I loved presenting. I’m not sure why public speaking came so easy to me. One day that changed though and the sad thing is I didn’t realize that it changed until I went off to college.
At the time, I thought that my love for speaking, turned anxiety of speaking, was due to the new college environment. Now, I realize that was not the case and that my fear and anxiety developed my senior year of high school. It literally took me almost 15 years to uncover.
I wouldn’t have uncovered where my fear developed if I wouldn’t have made the decision to overcome burnout. With making this commitment, I realized that I had to discover how I became burned out to begin with. Throughout this process, I also discovered how I lost my confidence and where the vicious cycle began.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done plenty of presentations in college and in the workplace setting, but not without FEAR of looking incompetent and having severe ANXIETY.
I traced my fear and anxiety back to my senior year of high school when I had to give a speech in front of two assemblies of about 2,000 people each. I crafted my presentation to include jokes and guess what, they definitely did not even come close to landing. I guess I’m not as funny as I thought I was after all. The first presentation was a failure and I didn’t have time to change it for the second presentation. Therefore, the second presentation was EVEN WORSE!! Gah it was beyond embarrassing and something that I apparently held onto for roughly 15 years.
Once I identified “where it all began” the fear and anxiety COMPLETELY disappeared. It no longer had a hold on me. I realized that presenting is NOT about YOU it’s about HELPING OTHERS whether it’s in the corporate environment or for your business. Since I’ve had these two breakthroughs I’ve completed multiple FB lives and conducted two thorough training presentations in my FB Group, Burnout to Blessed.
My goal is to serve others by helping them overcome the self- sabotaging behaviors that we ALL have whether we admit it or not. Moral of the story, if I can push through my fears and overcome my self-sabotaging behaviors SO CAN YOU 🙂