How to Rediscover Yourself 

Throughout my HR career I always had a gut feeling that something was missing. When I first experienced it, I thought that the feeling would go away when I climbed the career ladder. When I finally met my goals, I was surprised that the feeling actually intensified. At that point, I knew my career path was the wrong path. From that day forward, I kept praying that God would reveal my path. 

In retrospect, I realize that you can’t just make a wish, say a prayer, or click your ruby red slippers together to make your wish come true. That’s just not how life works! It wasn’t until I worked on myself and gave myself time away from the stress and overwhelm that I recognized that I lost myself over the years. If you would have asked me what I like to do for fun or what my hobbies were you wouldn’t have received an answer. I simply forgot what made me happy and forgot about my hobbies that I used to make time for. 

The first step in my healing process was to discover what made me happy, not what others expected of me, not what I thought “should” make me happy, but what ACTUALLY made me happy. The old me would have selected others expectations and what I thought should make me happy. Not the new me, that is why this exercise took me days to complete. I had to get all of the clutter out of the way before I rediscovered the girl I used to be. I say girl, because all throughout my adulthood I lost my happiness. 

Once I identified what made me happy. I dove even further and defined the details of how each value made me happy. For example, in order for me to be happy I need to feel a sense of achievement. The how is much more complex than just achievement itself. I need to feel that I’m a good wife, mother, friend, helping others through my business, and my overall health. 

I encourage you to ask yourself a simple question, what makes you happy. If you’re unable to answer this question, then this is a sign that you’re too busy putting everyone else or your job first. You only have one life to live and if you’re not happy or fulfilled then you’re not showing up 100% for yourself, your family, your friends, or your career. 

 

My First Live Training 

All throughout my childhood and even into my high school years I loved presenting. I’m not sure why public speaking came so easy to me. One day that changed though and the sad thing is I didn’t realize that it changed until I went off to college. 

At the time, I thought that my love for speaking, turned anxiety of speaking, was due to the new college environment. Now, I realize that was not the case and that my fear and anxiety developed my senior year of high school. It literally took me almost 15 years to uncover. 

I wouldn’t have uncovered where my fear developed if I wouldn’t have made the decision to overcome burnout. With making this commitment, I realized that I had to discover how I became burned out to begin with. Throughout this process, I also discovered how I lost my confidence and where the vicious cycle began. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done plenty of presentations in college and in the workplace setting, but not without FEAR of looking incompetent and having severe ANXIETY. 

I traced my fear and anxiety back to my senior year of high school when I had to give a speech in front of two assemblies of about 2,000 people each. I crafted my presentation to include jokes and guess what, they definitely did not even come close to landing. I guess I’m not as funny as I thought I was after all. The first presentation was a failure and I didn’t have time to change it for the second presentation. Therefore, the second presentation was EVEN WORSE!! Gah it was beyond embarrassing and something that I apparently held onto for roughly 15 years. 

Once I identified “where it all began” the fear and anxiety COMPLETELY disappeared. It no longer had a hold on me. I realized that presenting is NOT about YOU it’s about HELPING OTHERS whether it’s in the corporate environment or for your business. Since I’ve had these two breakthroughs I’ve completed multiple FB lives and conducted two thorough training presentations in my FB Group, Burnout to Blessed. 

My goal is to serve others by helping them overcome the self- sabotaging behaviors that we ALL have whether we admit it or not. Moral of the story, if I can push through my fears and overcome my self-sabotaging behaviors SO CAN YOU 🙂 

We All Start Somewhere

My current season of life reminds me so much of where my HR career journey began. I guess everything comes full circle whether we realize it or not. 

Seven years ago, Adam and I made the decision to move to New Mexico to pursue our dream careers. It was a decision that I knew was right and one that we had to make in order to meet our goals. That doesn’t mean I was happy about it! I knew it would be hard, but I didn’t anticipate how hard it was until I got there. I had to endure months of working at a job I hated with every fiber in my body, in a town I hated just as much, with zero friends or family. 

You might be wondering how it reminds me of my current season of life. Simple, it’s called the pursuit of SUCCESSFUL entrepreneurship. I’m currently doing something that I love and am passionate about and get to spend time with friends and family. What could be better? That’s easy, making it happen overnight! But that’s not reality, entrepreneurship takes persistence and hard work. 

When we moved to New Mexico, I relentlessly pursued an HR job that I wasn’t qualified for by introducing myself totally unannounced to the Chief Human Resources Officer of the local hospital. Then I created a customized recruitment plan for the hospital, then I interviewed for 2 months, yes 2 MONTHS before finally getting the job.  

From that day forward, I gave it my all so much so that they offered me the vacant Chief Human Resources Officer position. If you consistently show up and give it your best you WILL REAP THE REWARDS. I never ended up taking that job because 2 years without friends and family really puts things into perspective, so we moved back to Michigan. 

The lesson I learned is be brave, act courageously, walk the extra mile, practice PATIENCE, and never give up, for someday it’ll all be worth it!

Tara 

The Key to Happiness

The Harvard Study of Adult Development or better known as the Harvard Happy Study have found that our  relationships and how happy we are in those relationships are what keep people happy throughout their lives. The study revealed that positive relationships outweigh money, fame, fitness, or even self care, all of the things most people THINK WILL make them happy. They found that happy relationships protect people from life’s discontents, help to delay mental and physical decline, and are better predictors of long and happy lives than social class, IQ, or even genes. – The Harvard Gazette 

8 years ago, I put my relationships on the back burner and I mean EVERY relationship, my husband, my friends, my in-laws, my parents. Then Addison was born last year and I had an epiphany that life is ONLY ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS. NO ONE, literally NO ONE EVER said “I wished I would have worked more.” More often than not you hear, “I wish I would have spent more time with family and friends.”

I’m happy to say that over the past year, I have spent more time on my relationships with family and friends and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. 

It was a blast spending time with friends this weekend to celebrate the one and only – Amanda Christ. You’ve always been there for me through the good, bad, and ugly – even the years when I was MIA. Thanks for sticking it out all these years, cheers to 25 years of friendship 🙂 

 DO YOU HAVE REGRETS?

As of this past Sunday, 2/16, it will be 5 years since my grandma passed. 

I’ll never forget the events of the weekend leading up to getting the news on Monday, 2/16. It was Valentine’s Day weekend and Adam and I were living in New Mexico at the time. We decided to get out of town and spend the weekend in Albuquerque since I had been working a lot and we wanted to celebrate Valentine’s Day. I always called my grandma when driving back and forth from Albuquerque, so I had every intention of calling her on our way. Unfortunately, Adam and I were not getting along on the way there and back, so I never ended up calling her. 

For a long time, I was regretful that I never made that call and even more so that I didn’t make more calls. My grandma and grandpa meant the world to me, so why didn’t I treat them like it? It was difficult to admit that I put work above my friends and family in order to “succeed.” They say if you want to identify your values, look to see where you’re spending your time. I was “saying” family was first, but my time was saying, nope – it’s work my friend. 

Thankfully, when I moved back from New Mexico a month after she passed. I spent most days with my grandpa and I enjoyed every second of it. Time is not infinite and once you’ve spent it you can’t get it back. 

Where are you spending your time? 

If you were to continue spending your time the way you are today, would you have regrets? 

If the answer is yes, then it’s time to make a change and there is no time like the present. You have the power to take back control of your time, make the decision today, so you don’t have regrets tomorrow. 

If you’re ready to take the next step and commit to taking back control of your time, raise your virtual hand below! 

You’ve got this, 

Tara 

February Leap Into Faith 

February marks the month that changed my life forever when we welcomed our little girl into this world.

February marks the month that I decided that my family meant more than my job. 

February marks the month that I said enough is enough and decided to focus on my mental and physical health.

February marks the month that I left corporate and never looked back. 

If it wasn’t for the blessing of having my daughter, my husband and I never would have made the decision to leave my job to focus on our family. I have to admit our family was scared of the unknown and thoughts of “Can we make it” definitely came into play. But one remarkable thing happened, we let go of trying to control the situation and simply trusted that God would provide. I knew everything would work out, I just wasn’t sure how.

Fast forward to today, and I have recovered from burnout by working on myself, spending time with family and friends, and finding my God led purpose. I started my own HR Consulting business in October and launched my coaching business, Burnout to Blessed last month. Since starting my coaching business, I have seen women transform from burnout to rediscovering their joy. 

Now that God has revealed my purpose, it is my mission to help other women rediscover themselves and reclaim happiness by overcoming burnout. 

February 2020 marks the month that I took ANOTHER leap of FAITH and asked you to join my free Facebook Group, Burnout to Blessed https://www.facebook.com/groups/burnout2blessed/

Join me in community to support and encourage other women that are struggling with burnout to start their journey to overcome and take back control of life! 

ARE YOU COMMITTED?

Question, do you have enough time to see family and friends, exercise, and spend time on yourself during the week? 

If the answer is no, you’re probably spending too much time working instead of spending time on the things you enjoy. 

Recently, I had a client that went from working late everyday for years to consistently making time for herself, consistently making time to exercise, and consistently making time for family and friends. 

IT IS POSSIBLE to get off work on time, you just have to make the COMMITMENT to CONSISTENTLY make time for self care. You’re not going to get anywhere unless you COMMIT to a “I WILL DO” mindset.

If you need someone to hold you accountable and encourage you to take the next step to COMMIT, DM me and I’d be happy to help 🙂 

2/12 = Who Wants Financial Freedom?

The one question I get from almost every client is

“Can I quit my job today and still be fine financially?”

I can’t answer that question for them, but I can tell you the formula to financial freedom and it’s called live within your means, AKA get out of DEBT ASAP.

First, I’m going to start out by stating this post might be controversial. Everyone has their personal beliefs on money and everyone has a right to have their own opinion. 

Living by this principle allowed us to pay off:

4 years of student loans, 

Both vehicles,  

Put a 10% down payment on our house, 

 All within 2 years! 

Oh and I successfully quit my 9 to 5 job, so my friends IT WORKS! 

Following this principle not only allowed us to pay off debt it has given us a piece of mind and that in my book is priceless. 

If you want to leave your 9 to 5 and start your own business, but need a financial plan before taking that leap of faith follow these steps:

  • Save $1,000 as a start-up emergency fund
  • PAY OFF YOUR DEBT 
  • Start by paying off the highest interest rate first
  • Save 3 to 6 months of expenses and bills

I have to give credit where credit is due, if you’re not familiar with Dave Ramsey get familiar, he has a course called Financial Peace University which teaches the principles I mentioned. . 

If you’re interested in learning HOW to SUCCESSFULLY implement this process WITHOUT the STRESS, DM me and I’ll send you the details. 

Tips to SUCCESSFULLY implement WITHOUT the STRESS:

  • Get a joint account with your spouse  (if applicable) if you don’t already have one.
      1. Pay all of your bills and expenses from your joint account.
      2. After you’ve paid the bills, give yourself a little extra breathing room.Then put aside all extra money towards your debt or your savings.
  • Each set-up a separate account and allocate 10% of your pay or a set dollar amount each pay period. 
    1. You can spend this money on anything your heart desires – clothes, shoes, 
    2. massage, nails, etc.

 

Addisons 1st Birthday

Yesterday was Addison’s 1st birthday and a year ago marks the day that changed our lives forever and words cannot express how grateful we are. 

As we celebrated with friends and family, I was reminded of the importance of friendship. We want to thank everyone that came out to celebrate Addison’s birthday! We are grateful for your friendship and support 🙂

One phrase that comes to mind to sum up our weekend leading up to her party is, “It takes a village.” If it wasn’t for our family helping the ENTIRE weekend running errands, making food, cleaning, decorating, and watching Addison, etc. we wouldn’t have had everything done in time for the party. It TRULY takes a village. 

I see this happen all time with my clients suffering from burnout and time and time again when talking to other mothers. As women we think we can handle EVERYTHING on our OWN. Maybe we can handle it all, but not very well or without sacrifice.

Are you running yourself into the ground by trying to do EVERYTHING?

Are you really doing all the things well or mediocre AT BEST because you’re doing TOO MANY things? 

I’m here to tell you that there’s a better way and it’s called ASK for the HELP you NEED, oh and secondly DON’T APOLOGIZE for asking! This goes for all things – starting your own business, creating time for yourself for self care, planning a birthday! Plan how much time you TRULY need, add extra time to account for REALITY, and ASK. 

Ask and you shall receive, it’s that simple 🙂 

GET UNCOMFORTABLE & GET FEARLESS 

PS – don’t try taking a picture while driving – totally not safe

My word for 2020 is CONFIDENCE.  I chose the word confidence because over the last several years, I actually lost my confidence – an unfortunate side effect from burnout. Now that I’ve worked on myself, I can say that I’ve come a long way this past year. 

HOWEVER! 

It wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I realized I have to CONSISTENTLY put in the work and CONSISTENTLY challenge myself to start ACTUALLY living confidently. Since I’ve come to this realization, every time I feel uncomfortable about doing something that I wouldn’t do – I tell myself to put on my big girl panties and JUST DO IT! 

My list is probably not impressive to most, but at least I’m on the path to consistently moving forward. Every small decision you make over and over again eventually leads to BIG CHANGE! 

So far I’ve

  • Returned 5 items back to various stores that were bought more than 6 months ago. 

I never would have returned these before because I cared too much about what others thought of me. 

  • Conducted 2 FB Lives

 In the past, I would have shied away because of my fear of what others think of my appearance or that I might totally mess up. 

  • Had a party at my house 

I’ve had a fear that the floor would not support more than a few people at a time (totally weird & irrational I know!). Due to this fear, I’ve never had more than 6 people over at a time since we’ve been in our house – 5 years ago. 

I think I CONQUERED THIS FEAR yesterday by having more than 30 people at our house at one time 🙂 

At this point, I’m addicted – cheers to 2020 of being fearless! 

DECLUTTER YOUR LIFE 

  • Do you want more time for yourself? 
  • Do you want to feel like you’re not constantly rushing around?

If you want to take back your time and minimize the overwhelm from trying to do all the things then follow these tips:

  • Ask yourself the following questions:
  • What can I not stand doing in my home, personal life, and at work? 
  • What am I not good at doing?
  • What do I enjoy doing, what refuels me and energizes me?
  • Now that you’ve identified both ends of the spectrum, the next step is coming up with a plan to OUTSOURCE, DELEGATE, or get RID OF all together.
  • Identify a plan to make your life EASIER and implement it. 
  • Maybe you can’t stand cooking, the solution – get a meal service that already comes prepared. 
  • Hire someone to clean your house. 
  • Delegate a recurring task to one of your team members or delegate cleaning to your kids. 

Remember – give a person a fish and they can eat it for one meal, teach a person to fish and they can have meals for LIFE. 

Now schedule time focusing on what you enjoy and refuels you. Make this part of your weekly routine and I promise you you’ll feel reenergized and ready to take on the world!

 

Stop Thinking About Work!

Do you find yourself thinking about work and all the things you need to get done, hours after you’ve left the office? If you struggle with this then you’re NOT ALONE.  This can be extremely exhausting and frustrating, WHY because it seems so easy STOP thinking about work. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy and leads us workaholics straight into burnout. 

Shamefully, I was even guilty of this weeks before delivering my daughter. I don’t like to admit that work was still my main priority when I should have put my health and daughter first, but sadly it was my reality. When I took a step back, I dug deep to find out why. The answer is actually pretty simple, it’s called unrealistic expectations

Day in and day out you go into work and create a list of things that “need” to be accomplished. Most of the items on your “need” to complete list are things you’d actually “like” to complete. So what happens is spend your time completing tasks that are easy and tasks you enjoy working on first, then saving the tasks or projects you’re dreading to work on last. The problem with this set-up is that the tasks you’re dreading to complete are ACTUALLY what NEEDS to be completed ASAP or even in the corporate world, YESTERDAY

Then you go home and you can’t stop thinking that one stupid dreadful task you didn’t do. Now you’re thinking about work instead of focusing on your family. This might make you feel guilty and frustrated or even resentful when your spouse gives you a hard time for wanting to finish up work at home. You tell yourself and your spouse, I PROMISE if I get this done now I’ll be home on time tomorrow. Then the cycle continues day in and day out, week in and week out, for some of us year in and year out. 

How do you STOP this vicious cycle? Ditch your long to-do list and set ONE goal for the day that MUST get done. Then set TWO “would like” to complete goals. The third step is to schedule your ONE MUST COMPLETE goal FIRST THING, get it out of the way. 

That’s it my friends, you’ve got this 🙂

Coach Tara 

 

Recharge

Are you feeling overwhelmed and stressed due to your current job? If so, are you at the point where you feel like everything is out of your control and you don’t even know where to start to get back on track? If this sounds anything like you, then you’re on the edge of burnout. 

Burnout can often make you feel hopeless, like nothing is in your control. I’m all too familiar with this song and dance. I look back to when my burnout began and wish I could get all the time I spent on work back. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way, we have to go through the journey to get to our destination and my journey was a long one! Finally, my daughter Addison was the wake up call I needed to get my life back. I left corporate to stay at home with her and during my time at home, I focused on learning what got me into burnout to begin with. After months of working on myself and truly getting reacquainted with the happy go lucky person I used to be, I realized God put me through this journey to help others. 

The first step in getting yourself out of burnout is to make time for yourself CONSISTENTLY. I know this sounds easy, but for all of you overachievers actually putting this into practice is harder said than done. In order to follow through, sit down and schedule personal activities to do DIRECTLY after work. The second step is to schedule your personal activity with a friend or family member. Now someone is depending on you to show up, you’re now holding yourself accountable. Try this consistently for a month and take inventory of how productive and effective you are the next day. I promise you’ll see a difference in your productivity and personal satisfaction. 

You’ve got this!

Coach Tara

Give Yourself A Little Slack

That is what, I told myself time and time again about 6 months ago. I found out at the end of February that we were expecting baby number #2 🙂 I was SO SO excited minus the fact that I didn’t lose the baby weight from my first baby.

For the first three weeks, I felt great and definitely thought that I would bypass the all day morning sickness I had with my first pregnancy. Then bam, COVID-19 happens and I lose childcare for the two days I had set aside to work on my business. Although it sucked, I knew I wanted to keep my child as safe as possible and staying at home with her would ensure that. I thought to myself, OK, I can be like other Mompreneurs and diligently work on the business during naptime. I guess God had other plans for me because I went from feeling great to full blown all day morning sickness. At first, I tried to suck it up and continued to set goals for myself and those goals quickly turned into “didn’t get that done or that or that.” That’s when the self-defeating talk took over and I’ll admit I became pretty moody and depressed.

Finally, I decided to think of it from a burnout coaches point-of-view. What would I tell a client if they were going through something similar and that’s when I had the aha moment. It’s not the end of the world if you need to take a break whether it’s from your corporate job, your business, or even a little time away from family. It’s important to be able to identify when you’re NOT being PRODUCTIVE, when you’re NOT being EFFECTIVE, and when you’re mentally and/or physically EXHAUSTED. This is CRUCIAL because in order to BE PRODUCTIVE, EFFECTIVE, AND HAPPY you need to take the steps needed to recharge or else you’ll never refill your cup to 100% and the self-defeating talk will CONTINUE to SLOW YOU DOWN.

So do yourself a favor and give yourself a little slack and the permission to take TIME to REFUEL. Think of it this way, short-term pain for the long-term gain.